March/April
[easter break!] the first three days in zagreb: the chandlers are missionaries who lovingly took me in (and melana, the other american girl here). they fed us incredible food, let us sleep in, and were like family for the weekend. we didn't know what to do with ourselves-tacos, fresh vegetables, brown bread, fruit, bran muffins, scrambled eggs...i could go on. it was exciting to see what's happening in their ministry, in zagreb's churches, and to meet some of the youth there. mike and lynne encouraged us spiritually as well, sharing their life stories, wisdom, and praying with us. lynne has been my mentor in many ways...a God-send. melana was encouraged, too; she was like a new person when i joined her back at school.
[the coast!] tues night through friday was rijeka and opatija, two cities near the coast. i stayed with a family i didn't know...so warm and welcoming to me (they knew a friend of a girl i knew from church). emina picked me up at the bus station and knew very little english, so conversation was challenging until i got to her apartment. she lives there with her husband elvis, her brother emin, her daughters manuela and anna, and her parents. yes, there were 7 of them living in the tiny two bedroom apartment...it was loads of fun! 12 yr-old manuela became my translator and sidekick. she spoke english flawlessly, and began teaching it to anna, the 8 yr-old. i slept in the girls' room and they loved having a big sister for a few days. they were so excited to show me around, practice their english, and take me to mcdonalds. my lack of croatian amused everyone. they taught me very useful words like glup(stupid), slab(weak), nizaksi( you're short), etc.
mealtime was interesting. we ate in shifts, as only 4 people could fit in the kitchen at once. i discovered that they eat a lot like we do at school...soup (more like broth with a few bits of pasta or vegetables on the bottom), lots of bread with cold meat slices or mystery meat paste in a tin (pasteta) and lots of cheese. the grandmother was blind, but was very good in the kitchen. she had me try all kinds of new things. she couldn't explain them in english, and i couldn't really identify them...white peppers and strange plants soaked in vinegar, and a sweet brown fruity substance. she was a doll. the whole family was great.
the coast (15 by bus from the apt) was so beautiful...rolling hills, cliffs, sailboats, austro-hungarian architecture, outdoor cafes....one of those "i can't believe i'm here right now" moments. i sat in the sun along the stone walkway one afternoon, writing and sketching in my journal. it was so good!! i wanted time to stand still there, listening to the sound of the crashing waves...cherishing every second. precious.
emina and her family convinced me to stay one more night, and i bought them peanut butter and oreos. they were very excited to try them but weren't impressed with the taste. i got to watch manuela at her dance class and eat an amazing pizza. rijeka is only an hour from the border of italy, so you can imagine how good the food is. leaving was hard...thinking of the workload that faced me in dreary osijek. missed my family...wish they lived in rijeka.
[swimming] osijek: saturday night we piled in a van and went to a huge indoor swimming pool. i tried the natural hot sulfur bath. i wasn't convinced that the black slimy stuff was actually "good" for my skin...my suit still smells bad. europeans have a strange idea of what's healthy...or even pleasant, for that matter.
[religion] gave a presentation with the two other americans on "religion in america" for marijeta's class at one english speaking university here in osijek. we got to speak during her presentation which covered diversity, freedom, religion as a cultural self-help institution, as a life-transforming experience, the affect it has on the gov't, workplace, etc. we talked a lot about protestantism as well, since that is the majority in the states, but almost unheard of in croatia (less than 1% of the population). i discovered that i didn't even know the statistics in the u.s. (2001 stats) 81% identify themselves with a religion: 52% protestant, 24.5% roman catholic, 1.3%Jewish, .5% Muslim, 14% not involved in organized religion.
after the talk, david and i went to coffee with six of the girls from class. we all asked each other questions like curious little kids. the girls were all catholic, but not attending any church. there has been so much corruption here within the gov't and the church that they are all turned off. we encouraged them to look at Jesus as their leader and what He intended church to be, not what gov't or society has made it. they were really open and one girl admitted to me that she has never had a conversation like that about religion. they have been taught that doubt is the worst sin, unforgivable, and they will be eternally punished for it. that's crazy. david and i pointed out that Jesus' disciples were the worst doubters! thomas doubted, peter denied Him...saul even killed Christians, etc. one girl laughed, saying it "sounds like we live in the middle ages.'' that's what the misuse of power can do. so it was really good and four of them came to STEP the very next evening. step was 16 people that night, double our normal size. i enjoy every minute.
[the play] "hell's flames and heaven's gates" was the play a romanian couple brought to our school here. it was quite a production with lights, music, great sound effects and smoke. i was an angel that had to point people to heaven or hell, and was not happy about that. i wanted to quit right away the first time the "demons" dragged a person offstage. so God has been revealing my issue with hell. one visiting professor of philosophy from the university of michigan, dr. peter payne was here this past week speaking on various topics. i challenged the philosophy professor to explain where God's love is in that. he had good answers, but i still need to explore it more...along with my issues of evil. he recommended reading c.s. lewis' "the great divorce" so that's next on my long long list of books to read.
[recreation] i have been playing a little volleyball in the backyard. i have redeemed myself from the horrific soccer game i had a few weeks ago. went for a jog along the drava river...absolutely beautiful! not like the potomac, but there is a arched walking bridge, and the trees and flowers are blooming, green grass, people sipping coffee at outdoor cafes along the river, couples strolling, dogs running around, people kayaking, parks, cafe boats lining the edge of the water....i can't help but love life, even here in osijek. i think it's lovely, but everyone keeps warning me that it's a matter of days before the mosquitos attack and stay all summer. maybe sunday night i can watch the sunset along the river. tonight i will do my homework instead.
[God/me] last weekend was by far the most difficult time i've had here. i had to pay 3 times more taxes than what i expected, putting me in debt. also, my school loans deferment has been rejected the second time...bills, bills. i immediately questioned whether i should be here or not, if coming to croatia was a mistake, etc. this seems illogical to me, as i love being here and see many positive reasons to stay. yet the circumstances were impossible... i have a responsibility to pay my own bills, so i knew God would have to show me specifically that he wants me here, and provide a way for me to stay...I felt strongly in the past few weeks that God had been telling me to pray for more faith. okay, no problem...now i can see why! funny how immediately the wheels started turning...no money = no summer shoes, no more work on my braces, no coffees, no conferences, no school...maybe i should leave croatia now, take a job in the states to pay my loans off..oh, the disappointment at the thought of leaving. deep sadness. i want to stay so badly!!
i was a wreck inside waiting for God to speak, to make sense of this disaster. I fasted and prayed, and He reminded me of Hebrews 11:8-9, "Abraham obeyed and went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a foreign country." 12:25-28 God "removed those things that are made, so that the things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace..." God showed me this: He needed to remove my security blanket, my independence. now nothing can be done without God's provision. He is in control of every single step. complete trust. complete freedom.
i prayed specifically, listing everything i would need to pay for in the next few months... then yesterday He answered the prayer in one day!! rahella suggested i work for a pastor she knows in croatia and live for free at the church this summer, and i got an email about a graphic design job I can work on this summer to pay my bills. He is so good! this is such an adventure...i never know what's coming next. He remains faithful when i am faithless...2 Tim 2:13
[studies] this past week was eastern religions; hinduism, islam, buddhism, judaism...loved it. now i'm writing a paper to prove "Jesus Christ is God, and the only way to God" it has been great fun researching this.
[girls' night] rahella conway (married to one american professor here) and i planned and put together a girl's night last night...about 40 women came from school and the church. it was challenging putting together a "fun" evening with just females, with two languages, and at least five very different cultural backgrounds. rahella and i brainstormed and prayed a lot. so after fancy invitaions were made, oatmeal bars and chocolate chip cookies made (rahella had the choc chips sent from the states)...we were ready to party. we played a game, shared embarrasing moments (why do i always have the most??) we laughed, some cried, and everyone prayed together...the night was incredibly successful.
the theme of the girl's night was "waiting". i shared about being in dc, waiting for my chance to go overseas and God taught me to be content. content with my surroundings and content with His love. then i liked dc so much i could hardly leave. now i'm here...learning again to be content...not wanting to miss a thing. nothing will ever be perfect, but God has given me priceless experiences, incredible friendships, and an amazing family that prays for me and loves me unconditionally. who am i, that God would be mindful of me? i am so imperfect, and continually fail (the diet starts tomorrow, the paper will get done tomorrow, etc etc), but i am constantly aware of His deep deep love for me. so deep and so close i can feel it....sometimes i can barely breathe. maybe my tears fall on His shoulder...
thank you for your love. support. prayer. for reading this novel.
[the coast!] tues night through friday was rijeka and opatija, two cities near the coast. i stayed with a family i didn't know...so warm and welcoming to me (they knew a friend of a girl i knew from church). emina picked me up at the bus station and knew very little english, so conversation was challenging until i got to her apartment. she lives there with her husband elvis, her brother emin, her daughters manuela and anna, and her parents. yes, there were 7 of them living in the tiny two bedroom apartment...it was loads of fun! 12 yr-old manuela became my translator and sidekick. she spoke english flawlessly, and began teaching it to anna, the 8 yr-old. i slept in the girls' room and they loved having a big sister for a few days. they were so excited to show me around, practice their english, and take me to mcdonalds. my lack of croatian amused everyone. they taught me very useful words like glup(stupid), slab(weak), nizaksi( you're short), etc.
mealtime was interesting. we ate in shifts, as only 4 people could fit in the kitchen at once. i discovered that they eat a lot like we do at school...soup (more like broth with a few bits of pasta or vegetables on the bottom), lots of bread with cold meat slices or mystery meat paste in a tin (pasteta) and lots of cheese. the grandmother was blind, but was very good in the kitchen. she had me try all kinds of new things. she couldn't explain them in english, and i couldn't really identify them...white peppers and strange plants soaked in vinegar, and a sweet brown fruity substance. she was a doll. the whole family was great.
the coast (15 by bus from the apt) was so beautiful...rolling hills, cliffs, sailboats, austro-hungarian architecture, outdoor cafes....one of those "i can't believe i'm here right now" moments. i sat in the sun along the stone walkway one afternoon, writing and sketching in my journal. it was so good!! i wanted time to stand still there, listening to the sound of the crashing waves...cherishing every second. precious.
emina and her family convinced me to stay one more night, and i bought them peanut butter and oreos. they were very excited to try them but weren't impressed with the taste. i got to watch manuela at her dance class and eat an amazing pizza. rijeka is only an hour from the border of italy, so you can imagine how good the food is. leaving was hard...thinking of the workload that faced me in dreary osijek. missed my family...wish they lived in rijeka.
[swimming] osijek: saturday night we piled in a van and went to a huge indoor swimming pool. i tried the natural hot sulfur bath. i wasn't convinced that the black slimy stuff was actually "good" for my skin...my suit still smells bad. europeans have a strange idea of what's healthy...or even pleasant, for that matter.
[religion] gave a presentation with the two other americans on "religion in america" for marijeta's class at one english speaking university here in osijek. we got to speak during her presentation which covered diversity, freedom, religion as a cultural self-help institution, as a life-transforming experience, the affect it has on the gov't, workplace, etc. we talked a lot about protestantism as well, since that is the majority in the states, but almost unheard of in croatia (less than 1% of the population). i discovered that i didn't even know the statistics in the u.s. (2001 stats) 81% identify themselves with a religion: 52% protestant, 24.5% roman catholic, 1.3%Jewish, .5% Muslim, 14% not involved in organized religion.
after the talk, david and i went to coffee with six of the girls from class. we all asked each other questions like curious little kids. the girls were all catholic, but not attending any church. there has been so much corruption here within the gov't and the church that they are all turned off. we encouraged them to look at Jesus as their leader and what He intended church to be, not what gov't or society has made it. they were really open and one girl admitted to me that she has never had a conversation like that about religion. they have been taught that doubt is the worst sin, unforgivable, and they will be eternally punished for it. that's crazy. david and i pointed out that Jesus' disciples were the worst doubters! thomas doubted, peter denied Him...saul even killed Christians, etc. one girl laughed, saying it "sounds like we live in the middle ages.'' that's what the misuse of power can do. so it was really good and four of them came to STEP the very next evening. step was 16 people that night, double our normal size. i enjoy every minute.
[the play] "hell's flames and heaven's gates" was the play a romanian couple brought to our school here. it was quite a production with lights, music, great sound effects and smoke. i was an angel that had to point people to heaven or hell, and was not happy about that. i wanted to quit right away the first time the "demons" dragged a person offstage. so God has been revealing my issue with hell. one visiting professor of philosophy from the university of michigan, dr. peter payne was here this past week speaking on various topics. i challenged the philosophy professor to explain where God's love is in that. he had good answers, but i still need to explore it more...along with my issues of evil. he recommended reading c.s. lewis' "the great divorce" so that's next on my long long list of books to read.
[recreation] i have been playing a little volleyball in the backyard. i have redeemed myself from the horrific soccer game i had a few weeks ago. went for a jog along the drava river...absolutely beautiful! not like the potomac, but there is a arched walking bridge, and the trees and flowers are blooming, green grass, people sipping coffee at outdoor cafes along the river, couples strolling, dogs running around, people kayaking, parks, cafe boats lining the edge of the water....i can't help but love life, even here in osijek. i think it's lovely, but everyone keeps warning me that it's a matter of days before the mosquitos attack and stay all summer. maybe sunday night i can watch the sunset along the river. tonight i will do my homework instead.
[God/me] last weekend was by far the most difficult time i've had here. i had to pay 3 times more taxes than what i expected, putting me in debt. also, my school loans deferment has been rejected the second time...bills, bills. i immediately questioned whether i should be here or not, if coming to croatia was a mistake, etc. this seems illogical to me, as i love being here and see many positive reasons to stay. yet the circumstances were impossible... i have a responsibility to pay my own bills, so i knew God would have to show me specifically that he wants me here, and provide a way for me to stay...I felt strongly in the past few weeks that God had been telling me to pray for more faith. okay, no problem...now i can see why! funny how immediately the wheels started turning...no money = no summer shoes, no more work on my braces, no coffees, no conferences, no school...maybe i should leave croatia now, take a job in the states to pay my loans off..oh, the disappointment at the thought of leaving. deep sadness. i want to stay so badly!!
i was a wreck inside waiting for God to speak, to make sense of this disaster. I fasted and prayed, and He reminded me of Hebrews 11:8-9, "Abraham obeyed and went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise as in a foreign country." 12:25-28 God "removed those things that are made, so that the things which cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace..." God showed me this: He needed to remove my security blanket, my independence. now nothing can be done without God's provision. He is in control of every single step. complete trust. complete freedom.
i prayed specifically, listing everything i would need to pay for in the next few months... then yesterday He answered the prayer in one day!! rahella suggested i work for a pastor she knows in croatia and live for free at the church this summer, and i got an email about a graphic design job I can work on this summer to pay my bills. He is so good! this is such an adventure...i never know what's coming next. He remains faithful when i am faithless...2 Tim 2:13
[studies] this past week was eastern religions; hinduism, islam, buddhism, judaism...loved it. now i'm writing a paper to prove "Jesus Christ is God, and the only way to God" it has been great fun researching this.
[girls' night] rahella conway (married to one american professor here) and i planned and put together a girl's night last night...about 40 women came from school and the church. it was challenging putting together a "fun" evening with just females, with two languages, and at least five very different cultural backgrounds. rahella and i brainstormed and prayed a lot. so after fancy invitaions were made, oatmeal bars and chocolate chip cookies made (rahella had the choc chips sent from the states)...we were ready to party. we played a game, shared embarrasing moments (why do i always have the most??) we laughed, some cried, and everyone prayed together...the night was incredibly successful.
the theme of the girl's night was "waiting". i shared about being in dc, waiting for my chance to go overseas and God taught me to be content. content with my surroundings and content with His love. then i liked dc so much i could hardly leave. now i'm here...learning again to be content...not wanting to miss a thing. nothing will ever be perfect, but God has given me priceless experiences, incredible friendships, and an amazing family that prays for me and loves me unconditionally. who am i, that God would be mindful of me? i am so imperfect, and continually fail (the diet starts tomorrow, the paper will get done tomorrow, etc etc), but i am constantly aware of His deep deep love for me. so deep and so close i can feel it....sometimes i can barely breathe. maybe my tears fall on His shoulder...
thank you for your love. support. prayer. for reading this novel.
posted by Bethany at 1:20 AM
1 Comments:
Tracy shared your blog with me last night. Such an encouraging read and what a blessing on my day. Thanks for sharing - keep it up :)
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