june.july.2005
this is the long version! excuse the grammer, as i wrote this on a slovenian computer. enjoy...
[ pictures ] at http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeANmLdiycuXDlg which are in order of martjanci, markarska, dubrovnik, medjugorgje, rijeka, split (sorry)
[ prayer ] i will start my letter asking for your prayers for my 19 yr old nephew, loren. he was in a car accident last week, and had a lot of head and neck injuries. he can move shoulders, elbows, and wrists, and is progressing rapidly, but the doctors are doubtful if he will walk again. I am confident God will heal loren. just as moses pleaded with God, i ask you to plead with me for loren's healing. Jesus came so that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He hears us when we are desperate, when we are humbled. 'If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.' 'Lord, help us believe!'
[ martjanci ] i'm currently in this little village (mar-tyee-AN-see) living with my friend petra. I've been here two weeks. I've been doing some graphic design for a girl in washington dc and two missionaries here in slovenia. I thought God would lead me to work with children in orphanages in romania this summer…strange how that didn't really work out...instead i'm behind a computer….my desktop which i sent from school with petra…bless her dad's heart. But it has been great. Petra's parents know absolutely no english and i know no slovenian, so we flip through dictionaries a lot. i can say 'yem prevec svaki dan' (i eat too much every day) quite well. i did go on a diet successfully one day. so far i've loved everything..even the fried pork fat with sour cream on top…mmm. I don't think i'll bring this recipe home. But i do exercise sometimes…the family has a little weekend house a mile away, so petra and i have biked there a few times. Petra works with drug addicts…she meets with them and their families, helps them get into rehab centers, and helps them adjust when they come back….when she's not in osijek studying theology with me. it has been great meeting them, but i can see her job is not easy. I have one youth camp i'll go to tomorrow, then there's one in croatia in two weeks with my student ministry team from osijek (two girls i invited are going, so i'm excited about that) but i'm really missing home, and maybe home misses me, i'm not sure:) i'm planning to be in the u.s.a around august 12th…will keep you posted when i know more details.
[ after-school adventures ] i went on quite a roadtrip after school ended, june 18th. My friend colleen worked with me at jane's in washington dc, and wanted me to join her on her pilgrimage to a village in bosnia-hercegovina. Millions of catholics from all over the world travel to this place where visions of the virgin mary are seen. So i met her, and traveled up the coast of croatia…each city coincides with photos, split,medjugorje, dubrovnik, rijeka, and kranj (slovenia).
[ split ] finally at the coast!! i took a bus 10 hours through the night, and arrived saturday morning in split at 5am. The sun was not up yet, and the lights sparkled around the edge of the water like jewels. I was very very excited…had a coffee and ran around for six hours, seeing as much as possible. I think i did manage to see the entire city, even climbed a small mountain at the edge. It's beautiful…was so cool to see the mountains meet the ocean, and the historic architecture. it was lovely. i walked through the roman emperor diocletian's palace, (what's left of it), and took a few pics. I couldn't believe the markets weren't open, and then i realized it was only 7:30am. ..crazy tourist running around since 5am. I ate ice cream for $3 and a piece of bread for 25 cents (a student must spend wisely you know) then off to the airport to meet colleen. It was a happy reunion. It was great to see her! She came with a tour group of about 30 people from the states…i was surrounded by americans. They were great.
[ makarska ] wow! We stayed one night in this breathtaking little city on the coast. I couldn't believe our hotel and view from our balcony. I felt like a queen after living in osijek for five months…very different landscape and economy. We had a nice meal with the whole group and then i went down and waded in the sea…sijano (brilliant)! Had a great conversation with Father Bob about his life, and then shopped for seashells with colleen. After dinner, colleen, jerome, tony, and i had a nice drink by the sea, then walked along the coast eating ice cream, and watched the young people out on the town. It was absolutely incredible to look at the ocean, and turn around and see a huge mountain with snow directly behind you…crazy. We had great conversations here…tony and jerome discovered i wasn't catholic, so we talked theology…well i just listened really. I agreed and disagreed with them, but needed to look up some things. my opinion doesn't really matter, it's what the Bible says…but when your Bible is different, it gets tricky. They clarified some misconceptions i had…thoroughly enjoyable conversation and company.
sunday morning mass was really an incredible experience for me. Father Bob lead it, and two young people lead the music. a girl played guitar and i knew every song…i was overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit there. So i kneeled with them and cried, deeply humbled, knowing how sincere these people were around me, how much God loves them, and how He prideful i had been. criticism and judgement would only prevent me from hearing God.
[ medjurgorje ] whew! We left makarska and went straight up in our tour bus. I fought to stay awake with the warm sun beating in through the bus windows, but the view was unbelievable….i have one photo from the bus window. These huge mountains literally fall right into the sea. We're not talking pike's peak hills…these are mountains with snow on top…i could see straight down outside the bus to the water below. Very cool. We climbed up and around until we could no longer see the sea, and finally arrived at the border of bosnia herzegovina. It's hard to imagine so many people live in the tops of these mountains…no wonder there are so many different languages..they never see each other. It was beautiful.
Medjugorje was indeed peaceful, as colleen had described. This place became famous when Mary appeared to six teenagers on a hill surrounding medjugorgje June 24,1981. Bosnia-Herzegovina was a communist country at the time, so they were nearly arrested and persecuted. Some see these visitations every day, while some see Mary only once a year. Mary appears in a human form and speaks messages of peace; peace between God and man, conversion, prayer, and fasting. Imagine how crazy this sounds to a protestant! But there i was, attending mass, listening to the visionaries stories, and doing all the activities. Everyone i met was incredible…all of us want hope and something to believe in…are seeking miracles in way. I was impressed with our tour guides, a couple who grew up in osijek, actually, and moved to america together. Josep was an architect and now he and his wife are retired, just leading these trips for the past twenty years with no profit. They were a wonderful old couple…so loving, so gentle. I have to admit sometimes frustration would well up inside me and i wanted to scream 'this not in the Bible, it's rubbish!' but over and over again God would humble me and tell me to listen. I had tremendous conversations and learned SO much. The best time for me was when we climbed 'cross mountain'. there are sculptures as you go up this very big hill, which are stations of the cross as Jesus carried it up to Golgotha. I read the corresponding scripture from my Bible when appropriate, and we reflected on our way up. The top was His resurrection. I sat up there looking over Bosnia Herzegovina and said 'God, i am frustrated and confused. Different bibles, different voices, how can i know truth??' And he simply said 'you know my voice, Bethany. Believe. Just believe.' oh, how i wept! How good God is to me!! He reminded me again of the gifts He's given me and gently reminded me that i haven't been using them…have been so fearful to do something wrong or offend someone..haven't even fully believed! why is it so hard for me to believe? But God said He has given me faith. It's not hard for me to believe…just walk. I said 'okay. that simple' then i prayed for tony and jerome and had words for both of them. I walked over to tell them and i thought tony was going to cry…he told me later that what i said was exactly what he had been journalling about when i walked up..it truly changed him. Of course. God was just waiting for me to listen. He is good.
Here are a few things i want to bring to my life and my church (wherever that may be)…
1. devotion to prayer: most of the people i met are very religious about spending time in prayer…hours. I personally don't like structure, but know it's necessary and something i need.
2. adoration: an hour of worship with alternating violin music and the reading of scripture..focus soley on Jesus' death and His sacrifice for us. the holy spirit was very heavy on my heart as i felt the weight of what Christ did for me. It's not something i like to think about much, honestly, and to face it was very very powerful for me. God spoke to me in that time, asking me to follow Him there …would i be willing to take up a cross? It was like watching the 'passion of the Christ' again, wanting to turn my head and cover my eyes. I am quick to rejoice in his resurrection and be happy, but i am not always willing to suffer. He did it so i don't have to…but i must be willing.
3. confession: this was great! colleen said i could talk to a priest, even though i wasn't catholic, so Father Bob agreed to be my confessor...i was curious. I didn't really confess any sins, although i had them all written out, ready to tell all. Father Bob just talked 90% of the time..he's really an incredible man. He is probably 6'5, a thin man with a nice smile, a limp, and a great sense of humor. He started to become a priest in the 70s, then got discouraged with the catholic church and ran off with a nun. They had two children who are now teenagers. They both realized it was a mistake to run from God, and he tried again to become a priest. He had to try a few times before he would be accepted divorced, but it practicing now. He has a compassionate heart and understands people. He was terrific. He said everything i needed to hear ( plus a little extra about purity and that i should not discard catholic theology ) . my eyes were teary the whole time as i felt God's presence there with us on this little bench in the shade (not a confessional…yes, that would have been more fun ) he told me i need to be willing to take up my cross…something God had just showed me. He said i need to repent more and that i should read more (all very good advice). He said i should ask God for a husband that will be a pain in the neck…one that irritates me, so i can thank God that this man is making me more like Christ! I found this extremely humorous, but i realized the huge mistake i've been making when looking at men. I write them off so quickly when i see a flaw, which is again my fear of taking up my cross to follow Christ. It's not about someone failing to make me happy, it's about me having someone to love like Christ loves…to GIVE not receive. How selfish i am! I hope i can love my husband how he deserves to be loved! Anyway…He told me he sees Jesus Christ in my life, the way i love people (he can't see the inner anger explosions i was having on a daily basis). He asked if i had the language of holy spirit, and i said 'yes' and he said he had guessed i was charismatic. he said i've received special grace from God. I just asked for it, really, so i guess that's special grace. I knew God was prompting me to pray for his back problem, so as we were walking away, i mentioned that he was limping. He said 'yes, it's my back, maybe cancer, but someone's praying for me, i know it' i asked if i could pray. He said 'you have the gift of healing, don't you' i hesitated for a second…'yes'. he told me he doesn't usually let people pray for him, but he let me lay my hand on his back in the middle of the sidewalk and pray for him…God is so good!! Father Bob was blessed by the prayer, and i have to admit i was highly disappointed that he was still limping. A few times after that the spirit came over me and i prayed for healing for this man…i still don't understand this really…don't understand what this gift means, and how it should be used, and why i have it. But God knows what He's doing. I'm eager to learn more.
Anyway…from this experience i was convinced that protestants need confession. Someone trained to give us advice when we fall. Accountability partners are good, but it's hard to find one to trust or that knows the Word of God enough to guide you. Spritual mentors in the church should be established…not just for confession of course, but guidance. For everyone in church, from the youngest to the oldest. it's easy to go to church and be a Christian, but it's very difficult to seek God with your whole mind,soul, and strength and to be holy alone...without it we can't see God. That's why we're a body....a family to encourage one another.
i spent so much time getting to know colleen better, and hearing how much she loves God was incredible. It's hard to imagine so much is inside one person until you get to know them…it's like opening the door to a hidden garden. We stayed up late many nights talking about things that have happened in our lives where God has shown up, healed us, and taught us so many things about Himself. We even talked of spiritual warfare, and the reality of the enemy. God's power and love is so real, i wonder how i could have doubted it so strongly for a time in washington dc. i'm always learning. Colleen visits refugees outside Medjugorje every year…she takes clothes, food, and money…i wish i could've gone with her but i left too soon. My last night there was great. I stayed up talking with tony and jerome until 4am…intense conversations about God and our lives, and the choices we've made…living with those consequences. But God wants us to live in victory…not defeated, addicted or depressed! His death has already paid the price. I felt a bit like a counselor…they were sweet. I still pray for them.
Ohmigosh…i still have so much of my trip to write about. It will get shorter, i promise.
[ Dubrovnik ] 'The pearl of the Adriatic' everyone talks about this city and i was SO excited i got to see it. You'll see from my pictures why it's called the pearl. It's an old stone city completely restored …you can still walk the outer wall of the city and view the adriatic…it's magical. I spent the day burning myself in the sun on pebble beach, walking the wall, reading, writing, and painting a little. My mind was still going a million mi/hr from my time at medjugorje, so i was happy to be alone. I had to convince an interested 19yr old croatian boy a few times how much i enjoy being all by myself. My 'let's go europe' book advised me to look for old ladies holding signs at the bus station that said »rooms«. Great book. I stayed with one near the station, and she was very sweet. The next day i sat in the shade and left at 5pm Friday night…10 hrs later i arrived in rijeka.
[ rijeka ] yay…rijeka…emina's family again! i stayed with them over spring break, too. I love rijeka, it feels a bit like home away from home…maybe it's all the people in one small house…not sure. I always have fun in rijeka…they are full of life, very open, welcoming, and love having me around, which i'm thankful for. I knew a little croatian, so they were pretty excited about that. I called emina at 5am (oops!) and took the bus to her house. I slept from 6am-9am, then we went to the beach with the two girls, manuela and ana…a painful, rocky beach…hiking boots and a mattress would have been nice (i had marks on my stomach from the rocks). I had just burned myself two days earlier, so i heaped on the sunscreen. It was fun….really. it was a cultural experience…europeans are definitely not modest, if you know what i mean. Later we joined emina's sister in law, kristina (she's my age) and had ice cream downtown. There were fireworks and a concert going on. It was televised, but the dialects are so different, emina and her family couldn't understand everything. Crazy! Croatia is the size of minnesota (i think) and yet they have their own language and many different dialects within. Emin (emina's brother) has a new girlfrend, so he didn't go with us. He said he would let me know if it didn't work out between them. Thanks, emin.
[ kranj ] bright and early i took a bus to ljubljana to meet petra. From there, petra, andre, beno, david, katja, and i were taken by van to kranj for the english camp. An american missionary named todd drove us, and we joined a team from a church near portland oregon for the week. We stayed in a backpackers lodge and had our meetings at joel and amy's house…a young missionary couple who were really great. They were fun, humble, generous, and loved God with their whole lives. They organized the english camp…we started with a prayer walk, and then played lots of games with the kids, teaching them english in the afternoons and having a night of songs and a message at night. These kids were all junior high age and loved every minute of it! Even the girls played the sports a bit and got into the songs. My group was all boys except kitty, an american schoolteacher. They were all great…each boy was really blessed by the camp. We gave them new testaments and devotionals and they were excited about that. One said he had never felt accepted until english camp…he had no friends at school, so this was true for him. I had the privilege of going to his house for lunch one day with two guys from our team. The food was all traditional (lots of meat and sauerkrout) and a trip to bled to a castle with a lake. Beautiful (sorry no pics here…my camera batt was dead) i met his grandparents who make honey and handmade embroidered patterns…i got a rose which took his grandmother two days to make.
I was impressed with some of the american team, with their character and attitude of service. These guys showed character i see lacking sometimes in croatia. i talked about this with the american and n.zealand missonaries…how to develop that in churches in europe. i was taught growing up how to be polite and think of others, but these churches are new and don't function well…don't know how to love each other. It's not cultural. The missionaries said it's hard to evangelize because people start coming to church and get hurt. Whew! Lots of prayer needed in croatia and slovenia. These little tiny churches are so young. The kids were so enthusiastic, too. They liked the talks about God, and my friend petra and katja spoke openly about God's love. It was really great.
Katja, petra and i bonded this week as well. Every night we were up talking and praying…once til 4am! So we were exhausted, but it was so good! We prayed for more of God in our lives and in the lives of these kids. Petra shared about her sister andrea who died at the age of 20. she had brain tumors and numerous surgeries before she died. Petra talked of andrea's love for people and God, how her faith never faltered, and how she would hear andrea praying at night 'God, i want your will to be done, no matter what i have to go through' i couldn't imagine going through that. Petra said she would get angry, but then when she saw her sister's deep love for God, it changed her. We were all crying as katja translated the things petra couldn't say in english. Even though this happened ten years ago, petra is still deeply affected by her sister's life. This family i'm living with has seen death and grief that has only brought them closer to God. I am moved by this…it's living faith. Not theology, strategy, and talk, but day to day living…loving and serving a God that chose to take away. Yet they bless God by loving, giving, and serving.
so kranj finished well, and our weary bodies traveled back to martjanci, where i am currently typing away. my thoughts are turned toward home, so i look forward to seeing all of you in the next three weeks. i miss you all desperately, and can't wait to get home...iowa and washington dc will be definite destinations, but there could be more. i look forward to hugs and to hear what has been happening in your lives. i feel like i've been gone for a decade.
[ pictures ] at http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeANmLdiycuXDlg which are in order of martjanci, markarska, dubrovnik, medjugorgje, rijeka, split (sorry)
[ prayer ] i will start my letter asking for your prayers for my 19 yr old nephew, loren. he was in a car accident last week, and had a lot of head and neck injuries. he can move shoulders, elbows, and wrists, and is progressing rapidly, but the doctors are doubtful if he will walk again. I am confident God will heal loren. just as moses pleaded with God, i ask you to plead with me for loren's healing. Jesus came so that we might have life, and have it abundantly. He hears us when we are desperate, when we are humbled. 'If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.' 'Lord, help us believe!'
[ martjanci ] i'm currently in this little village (mar-tyee-AN-see) living with my friend petra. I've been here two weeks. I've been doing some graphic design for a girl in washington dc and two missionaries here in slovenia. I thought God would lead me to work with children in orphanages in romania this summer…strange how that didn't really work out...instead i'm behind a computer….my desktop which i sent from school with petra…bless her dad's heart. But it has been great. Petra's parents know absolutely no english and i know no slovenian, so we flip through dictionaries a lot. i can say 'yem prevec svaki dan' (i eat too much every day) quite well. i did go on a diet successfully one day. so far i've loved everything..even the fried pork fat with sour cream on top…mmm. I don't think i'll bring this recipe home. But i do exercise sometimes…the family has a little weekend house a mile away, so petra and i have biked there a few times. Petra works with drug addicts…she meets with them and their families, helps them get into rehab centers, and helps them adjust when they come back….when she's not in osijek studying theology with me. it has been great meeting them, but i can see her job is not easy. I have one youth camp i'll go to tomorrow, then there's one in croatia in two weeks with my student ministry team from osijek (two girls i invited are going, so i'm excited about that) but i'm really missing home, and maybe home misses me, i'm not sure:) i'm planning to be in the u.s.a around august 12th…will keep you posted when i know more details.
[ after-school adventures ] i went on quite a roadtrip after school ended, june 18th. My friend colleen worked with me at jane's in washington dc, and wanted me to join her on her pilgrimage to a village in bosnia-hercegovina. Millions of catholics from all over the world travel to this place where visions of the virgin mary are seen. So i met her, and traveled up the coast of croatia…each city coincides with photos, split,medjugorje, dubrovnik, rijeka, and kranj (slovenia).
[ split ] finally at the coast!! i took a bus 10 hours through the night, and arrived saturday morning in split at 5am. The sun was not up yet, and the lights sparkled around the edge of the water like jewels. I was very very excited…had a coffee and ran around for six hours, seeing as much as possible. I think i did manage to see the entire city, even climbed a small mountain at the edge. It's beautiful…was so cool to see the mountains meet the ocean, and the historic architecture. it was lovely. i walked through the roman emperor diocletian's palace, (what's left of it), and took a few pics. I couldn't believe the markets weren't open, and then i realized it was only 7:30am. ..crazy tourist running around since 5am. I ate ice cream for $3 and a piece of bread for 25 cents (a student must spend wisely you know) then off to the airport to meet colleen. It was a happy reunion. It was great to see her! She came with a tour group of about 30 people from the states…i was surrounded by americans. They were great.
[ makarska ] wow! We stayed one night in this breathtaking little city on the coast. I couldn't believe our hotel and view from our balcony. I felt like a queen after living in osijek for five months…very different landscape and economy. We had a nice meal with the whole group and then i went down and waded in the sea…sijano (brilliant)! Had a great conversation with Father Bob about his life, and then shopped for seashells with colleen. After dinner, colleen, jerome, tony, and i had a nice drink by the sea, then walked along the coast eating ice cream, and watched the young people out on the town. It was absolutely incredible to look at the ocean, and turn around and see a huge mountain with snow directly behind you…crazy. We had great conversations here…tony and jerome discovered i wasn't catholic, so we talked theology…well i just listened really. I agreed and disagreed with them, but needed to look up some things. my opinion doesn't really matter, it's what the Bible says…but when your Bible is different, it gets tricky. They clarified some misconceptions i had…thoroughly enjoyable conversation and company.
sunday morning mass was really an incredible experience for me. Father Bob lead it, and two young people lead the music. a girl played guitar and i knew every song…i was overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit there. So i kneeled with them and cried, deeply humbled, knowing how sincere these people were around me, how much God loves them, and how He prideful i had been. criticism and judgement would only prevent me from hearing God.
[ medjurgorje ] whew! We left makarska and went straight up in our tour bus. I fought to stay awake with the warm sun beating in through the bus windows, but the view was unbelievable….i have one photo from the bus window. These huge mountains literally fall right into the sea. We're not talking pike's peak hills…these are mountains with snow on top…i could see straight down outside the bus to the water below. Very cool. We climbed up and around until we could no longer see the sea, and finally arrived at the border of bosnia herzegovina. It's hard to imagine so many people live in the tops of these mountains…no wonder there are so many different languages..they never see each other. It was beautiful.
Medjugorje was indeed peaceful, as colleen had described. This place became famous when Mary appeared to six teenagers on a hill surrounding medjugorgje June 24,1981. Bosnia-Herzegovina was a communist country at the time, so they were nearly arrested and persecuted. Some see these visitations every day, while some see Mary only once a year. Mary appears in a human form and speaks messages of peace; peace between God and man, conversion, prayer, and fasting. Imagine how crazy this sounds to a protestant! But there i was, attending mass, listening to the visionaries stories, and doing all the activities. Everyone i met was incredible…all of us want hope and something to believe in…are seeking miracles in way. I was impressed with our tour guides, a couple who grew up in osijek, actually, and moved to america together. Josep was an architect and now he and his wife are retired, just leading these trips for the past twenty years with no profit. They were a wonderful old couple…so loving, so gentle. I have to admit sometimes frustration would well up inside me and i wanted to scream 'this not in the Bible, it's rubbish!' but over and over again God would humble me and tell me to listen. I had tremendous conversations and learned SO much. The best time for me was when we climbed 'cross mountain'. there are sculptures as you go up this very big hill, which are stations of the cross as Jesus carried it up to Golgotha. I read the corresponding scripture from my Bible when appropriate, and we reflected on our way up. The top was His resurrection. I sat up there looking over Bosnia Herzegovina and said 'God, i am frustrated and confused. Different bibles, different voices, how can i know truth??' And he simply said 'you know my voice, Bethany. Believe. Just believe.' oh, how i wept! How good God is to me!! He reminded me again of the gifts He's given me and gently reminded me that i haven't been using them…have been so fearful to do something wrong or offend someone..haven't even fully believed! why is it so hard for me to believe? But God said He has given me faith. It's not hard for me to believe…just walk. I said 'okay. that simple' then i prayed for tony and jerome and had words for both of them. I walked over to tell them and i thought tony was going to cry…he told me later that what i said was exactly what he had been journalling about when i walked up..it truly changed him. Of course. God was just waiting for me to listen. He is good.
Here are a few things i want to bring to my life and my church (wherever that may be)…
1. devotion to prayer: most of the people i met are very religious about spending time in prayer…hours. I personally don't like structure, but know it's necessary and something i need.
2. adoration: an hour of worship with alternating violin music and the reading of scripture..focus soley on Jesus' death and His sacrifice for us. the holy spirit was very heavy on my heart as i felt the weight of what Christ did for me. It's not something i like to think about much, honestly, and to face it was very very powerful for me. God spoke to me in that time, asking me to follow Him there …would i be willing to take up a cross? It was like watching the 'passion of the Christ' again, wanting to turn my head and cover my eyes. I am quick to rejoice in his resurrection and be happy, but i am not always willing to suffer. He did it so i don't have to…but i must be willing.
3. confession: this was great! colleen said i could talk to a priest, even though i wasn't catholic, so Father Bob agreed to be my confessor...i was curious. I didn't really confess any sins, although i had them all written out, ready to tell all. Father Bob just talked 90% of the time..he's really an incredible man. He is probably 6'5, a thin man with a nice smile, a limp, and a great sense of humor. He started to become a priest in the 70s, then got discouraged with the catholic church and ran off with a nun. They had two children who are now teenagers. They both realized it was a mistake to run from God, and he tried again to become a priest. He had to try a few times before he would be accepted divorced, but it practicing now. He has a compassionate heart and understands people. He was terrific. He said everything i needed to hear ( plus a little extra about purity and that i should not discard catholic theology ) . my eyes were teary the whole time as i felt God's presence there with us on this little bench in the shade (not a confessional…yes, that would have been more fun ) he told me i need to be willing to take up my cross…something God had just showed me. He said i need to repent more and that i should read more (all very good advice). He said i should ask God for a husband that will be a pain in the neck…one that irritates me, so i can thank God that this man is making me more like Christ! I found this extremely humorous, but i realized the huge mistake i've been making when looking at men. I write them off so quickly when i see a flaw, which is again my fear of taking up my cross to follow Christ. It's not about someone failing to make me happy, it's about me having someone to love like Christ loves…to GIVE not receive. How selfish i am! I hope i can love my husband how he deserves to be loved! Anyway…He told me he sees Jesus Christ in my life, the way i love people (he can't see the inner anger explosions i was having on a daily basis). He asked if i had the language of holy spirit, and i said 'yes' and he said he had guessed i was charismatic. he said i've received special grace from God. I just asked for it, really, so i guess that's special grace. I knew God was prompting me to pray for his back problem, so as we were walking away, i mentioned that he was limping. He said 'yes, it's my back, maybe cancer, but someone's praying for me, i know it' i asked if i could pray. He said 'you have the gift of healing, don't you' i hesitated for a second…'yes'. he told me he doesn't usually let people pray for him, but he let me lay my hand on his back in the middle of the sidewalk and pray for him…God is so good!! Father Bob was blessed by the prayer, and i have to admit i was highly disappointed that he was still limping. A few times after that the spirit came over me and i prayed for healing for this man…i still don't understand this really…don't understand what this gift means, and how it should be used, and why i have it. But God knows what He's doing. I'm eager to learn more.
Anyway…from this experience i was convinced that protestants need confession. Someone trained to give us advice when we fall. Accountability partners are good, but it's hard to find one to trust or that knows the Word of God enough to guide you. Spritual mentors in the church should be established…not just for confession of course, but guidance. For everyone in church, from the youngest to the oldest. it's easy to go to church and be a Christian, but it's very difficult to seek God with your whole mind,soul, and strength and to be holy alone...without it we can't see God. That's why we're a body....a family to encourage one another.
i spent so much time getting to know colleen better, and hearing how much she loves God was incredible. It's hard to imagine so much is inside one person until you get to know them…it's like opening the door to a hidden garden. We stayed up late many nights talking about things that have happened in our lives where God has shown up, healed us, and taught us so many things about Himself. We even talked of spiritual warfare, and the reality of the enemy. God's power and love is so real, i wonder how i could have doubted it so strongly for a time in washington dc. i'm always learning. Colleen visits refugees outside Medjugorje every year…she takes clothes, food, and money…i wish i could've gone with her but i left too soon. My last night there was great. I stayed up talking with tony and jerome until 4am…intense conversations about God and our lives, and the choices we've made…living with those consequences. But God wants us to live in victory…not defeated, addicted or depressed! His death has already paid the price. I felt a bit like a counselor…they were sweet. I still pray for them.
Ohmigosh…i still have so much of my trip to write about. It will get shorter, i promise.
[ Dubrovnik ] 'The pearl of the Adriatic' everyone talks about this city and i was SO excited i got to see it. You'll see from my pictures why it's called the pearl. It's an old stone city completely restored …you can still walk the outer wall of the city and view the adriatic…it's magical. I spent the day burning myself in the sun on pebble beach, walking the wall, reading, writing, and painting a little. My mind was still going a million mi/hr from my time at medjugorje, so i was happy to be alone. I had to convince an interested 19yr old croatian boy a few times how much i enjoy being all by myself. My 'let's go europe' book advised me to look for old ladies holding signs at the bus station that said »rooms«. Great book. I stayed with one near the station, and she was very sweet. The next day i sat in the shade and left at 5pm Friday night…10 hrs later i arrived in rijeka.
[ rijeka ] yay…rijeka…emina's family again! i stayed with them over spring break, too. I love rijeka, it feels a bit like home away from home…maybe it's all the people in one small house…not sure. I always have fun in rijeka…they are full of life, very open, welcoming, and love having me around, which i'm thankful for. I knew a little croatian, so they were pretty excited about that. I called emina at 5am (oops!) and took the bus to her house. I slept from 6am-9am, then we went to the beach with the two girls, manuela and ana…a painful, rocky beach…hiking boots and a mattress would have been nice (i had marks on my stomach from the rocks). I had just burned myself two days earlier, so i heaped on the sunscreen. It was fun….really. it was a cultural experience…europeans are definitely not modest, if you know what i mean. Later we joined emina's sister in law, kristina (she's my age) and had ice cream downtown. There were fireworks and a concert going on. It was televised, but the dialects are so different, emina and her family couldn't understand everything. Crazy! Croatia is the size of minnesota (i think) and yet they have their own language and many different dialects within. Emin (emina's brother) has a new girlfrend, so he didn't go with us. He said he would let me know if it didn't work out between them. Thanks, emin.
[ kranj ] bright and early i took a bus to ljubljana to meet petra. From there, petra, andre, beno, david, katja, and i were taken by van to kranj for the english camp. An american missionary named todd drove us, and we joined a team from a church near portland oregon for the week. We stayed in a backpackers lodge and had our meetings at joel and amy's house…a young missionary couple who were really great. They were fun, humble, generous, and loved God with their whole lives. They organized the english camp…we started with a prayer walk, and then played lots of games with the kids, teaching them english in the afternoons and having a night of songs and a message at night. These kids were all junior high age and loved every minute of it! Even the girls played the sports a bit and got into the songs. My group was all boys except kitty, an american schoolteacher. They were all great…each boy was really blessed by the camp. We gave them new testaments and devotionals and they were excited about that. One said he had never felt accepted until english camp…he had no friends at school, so this was true for him. I had the privilege of going to his house for lunch one day with two guys from our team. The food was all traditional (lots of meat and sauerkrout) and a trip to bled to a castle with a lake. Beautiful (sorry no pics here…my camera batt was dead) i met his grandparents who make honey and handmade embroidered patterns…i got a rose which took his grandmother two days to make.
I was impressed with some of the american team, with their character and attitude of service. These guys showed character i see lacking sometimes in croatia. i talked about this with the american and n.zealand missonaries…how to develop that in churches in europe. i was taught growing up how to be polite and think of others, but these churches are new and don't function well…don't know how to love each other. It's not cultural. The missionaries said it's hard to evangelize because people start coming to church and get hurt. Whew! Lots of prayer needed in croatia and slovenia. These little tiny churches are so young. The kids were so enthusiastic, too. They liked the talks about God, and my friend petra and katja spoke openly about God's love. It was really great.
Katja, petra and i bonded this week as well. Every night we were up talking and praying…once til 4am! So we were exhausted, but it was so good! We prayed for more of God in our lives and in the lives of these kids. Petra shared about her sister andrea who died at the age of 20. she had brain tumors and numerous surgeries before she died. Petra talked of andrea's love for people and God, how her faith never faltered, and how she would hear andrea praying at night 'God, i want your will to be done, no matter what i have to go through' i couldn't imagine going through that. Petra said she would get angry, but then when she saw her sister's deep love for God, it changed her. We were all crying as katja translated the things petra couldn't say in english. Even though this happened ten years ago, petra is still deeply affected by her sister's life. This family i'm living with has seen death and grief that has only brought them closer to God. I am moved by this…it's living faith. Not theology, strategy, and talk, but day to day living…loving and serving a God that chose to take away. Yet they bless God by loving, giving, and serving.
so kranj finished well, and our weary bodies traveled back to martjanci, where i am currently typing away. my thoughts are turned toward home, so i look forward to seeing all of you in the next three weeks. i miss you all desperately, and can't wait to get home...iowa and washington dc will be definite destinations, but there could be more. i look forward to hugs and to hear what has been happening in your lives. i feel like i've been gone for a decade.
posted by Bethany at 11:38 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home